part II

Six pack and Food Jail

In late February 2003 I went back to training with Nunzio, about 10 weeks after I fell ill. I was still on medication but I was determined that I wasn’t going to let the illness stop me from my goal. I had lost weight and muscle, so we had to go forward with what we had if I was to make it on stage in 8 months. I trained weights 4 days a week and many hours of cardio over the next months, getting gradually leaner at each weigh in. I had a single minded obsession and not once did I stray from the diet or not complete my training. My social life disappeared as I was always training or tired from training, and in October 2003 I stepped on stage for the first time at 48kgs and about 8% body fat.

I was still on medication from my illness and in hindsight it would have been better for my long term health to wait for 12 months before attempting to compete, but I wanted those abs more than anything in the whole world. I was lean, really lean and I finally had control over how I looked. Or so I thought.

After the euphoria of my first competition I started to eat “normally” again. In the first 3 days I put on 3 kgs and can I clearly recall looking at myself in the mirror and felt disgusted at how fat I had become. Within 6 weeks I was back to 55kgs and a new struggle with food and body image emerged. The feedback from the judges was that I was in great condition but I was too small and needed more muscle, so Nunzio and I worked on a plan that would see me sit out a year and then go back with more muscle. However I changed this plan and got back on stage 9 months later and then 15 months after that again. In this period of bodybuilding my weight ranged about 10 kgs each off season and the only way I could control the way I looked was to be in “competition preparation mode”. I convinced myself that I was carb intolerant and had a slow metabolism and felt I put on weight when I reintroduced carbs and other regular food to my diet. The reality is that my body was simply doing what normal a body does after a heavily restricted diet over a long period of time. This caused other eating disorder type behaviours; I was unhappy and in food jail.

In my third year of bodybuilding I realised that I was competing to keep those abs, and not because I was interested in sculpting a muscular physique. I needed to stop for my health, and my sanity. I didn’t get into great condition in that final year, and as I sat despondent back stage after my final competition a guy I knew from my gym sat next to me and asked me what was wrong. We then had a conversation that would change my life.

to be continued....

Lisa