Saturday, March 08, 2008

Where does the light go?

Why is it that we can be on our path to success and happiness and then totally inexplicably we wake up one day and have lost the light? A feeling of predictable failure sits in the pit of your stomach and all the things you have been working towards either seem trivial or unachievable. I guess these are called our emotions cued by hormones, but wouldn’t it be great if you knew the secret of where the light goes, and all you have to do is open the right window to let it shine in?

What happens to you when the light disappears? Do you give in and binge eat, exercise excessively, cry on the sofa and hate yourself? Do you mourn for a moment and then go in search of the light? Or are you enlightened enough to know which window to open? Years ago I definitely did one or a combination of the first group. I recall when the scales used to say I hadn’t lost weight for a couple of weeks I would tell myself “I have done everything right, and I still can’t lose weight so I might as well eat this cake”. Of course I then dished out a good serve of self loathing for seconds. I am very happy to say that I have evolved from this victim mentality, as the truth is I am a fighter.

However being a fighter then moved me into the second category of mourning and searching. So after feeling sorry for myself for a short period I would then search and plan, and all else in my life stopped until I could find the right window. In a way I think all this energy that I burned up probably extinguished the light anyway. I have to admit to you all at times I still fall into this category and often end up so exhausted that I do think about why I am chasing my dreams?

Imagine that in that moment when the darkness closes in all you have to do is open a window or flick a switch to have your belief flood back in? Today rather than expends tons of energy searching I am going to sit on the couch, close my eyes and remember the feeling of lightness in my body and when I open them I am going to hold onto it!



Ali said...

What a great post Lisa. good to hear that your injury is being manageable. Hope yu enjoy the rest of your weekend

Ali xxx

Lisa said...

Thanks Ali, I am having a quite Sunday for a change!


Anonymous said...

Great idea visulising the light and how it makes you feel. I think i will try it as well, as i'm one of those who runs madly around trying to find it when it disappears.

LizN said...

This is a really nice post Lisa and one I can totally relate to. We all make strides in our health and fitness and the journey, but it's easy to lose sight of the light even in the most highly trained individuals.


Magda said...

Fantastic post Lisa. (Another) rivetting read.



Lisa said...

Hi cat, I think the searching finally exhausted me - it seems like such a waste of energy.

Liz, yes we all are at fault of not pracising what we preach when it comes to ourselves.

Hi Magda, I thought you may pick up on this one!.


Shannon said...

Hi Lisa,

What a great post... can totally relate to it.... love reading your blog

Shannon :)

Lisa said...

Thanks Shannon - great to see you post a comment.

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